Sunday, March 1, 2009

Ramblings

So we were thinking hum wouldn't it be fun to build a "cat house". lol Yup a neat kinda dog house thing but larger and made for cats. Really a cat heaven! Yup we are cat lovers (as you have probably read animal lovers) nothing weird like dressing our pets up or having birthdays. But we love animals. Thus the reason to live in the country and own a farm!
Anyway if we ended up not using it, it can be used as a garden tools shed. So anyway I was thinking we could make the toys and buy some catnip plants and carpet the walls and having scratching posts and shelves for them to rest on etc.. I am weird but it sounds like it would be fun to do..

There are always projects running through my brain. And the main reason is to get the cats out of the house. We have several and I think it would cause them to spend more time outside then in. Not keep them out of the house entirely but encourage them to want to be outside. Most of our cats are fixed but the kittens my cat had need to be. They are not of age yet so I have time to get them fixed!!

Then another thought came to me..what if we made a large cement pad out by the side of the shop we could set up a whole play area for all of us to do as a family. I think that would be fun. We need more family time then what we have and getting exercise outside together sounds like a solution to me. I can't wait until summer comes as far as swimming. I miss doing that. And taking our walks. I know we can do that now. By the time the kids get off the bus for school do homework and eat its already dark out. Out here dark is pitch black!! But I can't complain..

Today I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned house. I find it hard to be motivated to do that, but once I am doing it. I find myself enjoying it. My laundry is loaded up and is getting washed but washing all bed clothes and clothes that are hidden in every crevice of the house has been more work then I expected.

Today is very foggy outside. We live not to far from a mountain and if a person were here to visit today they would not even see the mountain. You should see how sometimes God will shine the light on different parts of the mountain at different times, so each part gets enough light from the Lord to keep the trees happy and the mountain flowing with beauty. God is so good. He created the earth just for us. All of it glorifying His precious name. God amazed me with His beauty on a daily bases. I look up at the stars and believe you me in the country you can see them so clear its as if you are seeing God. What I mean is you see His glory in it so powerfully. God is the creator of such beauty, majesty. He is the mighty King, redeemer, He is so simply awesome there are no true words. A person couldn't possibly put into words how awesome God is. When you look at a star, a leaf and its vessels, when you look at a bug and how perfectly formed it is, a rock that has crystals, a piece of wood from a tree just cut and see how even in the that God made it to have lines for the age of it. There is no reason for people to not believe that God is the I Am.
I sit and pray and feel my heart burning with love and burning with desire to be used by God.

There are times I struggle and feel like a failure. I feel like I am not worthy to be alive even. I struggle with feeling like I can be used. I see all my faults and feel so fake and feel like God should be using someone worthy to do His work. I am far from a mother Theresa or a Billy Graham. I feel like a worthless piece of dog you know what. I know I am the child of the most High. I know God loves me and I know I would die in His name. I guess when I see me, I see but a person like in the passion when He draws the line in the dirt and Mary reaches up to Him with humility. I feel like I am her. I feel like I am not worthy to be in His presence. He is the almighty God. We as people do not always see how awesome God is. I think so many people use His name, to get money, fame, fortune and more and so many people who are His church are failing to do His work. Tears stream down my face when I think how we as the church have failed so many hungry people, children, the unborn, and more. We the people are forgetting. God isn't a squishy person asking people to ride fences. God wants us to walk amongst the Nations from every corner of the earth and tell others about Him. He wants us to feed the hungry. Not just with food, but with His message of hope and love. I see God as not just a peace loving hippy type Christ but I see Him as more then that. I see Him as all. Love, grace, holiness, mercy, compassion, discipline, father, alpha, omega, King, redeemer, Emmanuel, messiah, also a see God as creator, and I see Him as the one that will lead us believers into war as spoken in Revelations.
God is the same today and He was back then. I know God said He does not change. So some of the believers who chose to only believe that the new testimont is the only book to read are blinding themselves from who God truely is. The bible is like a circle, all things go in full circle.

So anyway...Ramblings..