Family, Betrayal and forgiveness.....

Family what is the meaning of family? 

My dictionary says: Family; fam-i-ly :
1. parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not, 2. the spouse and their children of one person or one couple collectively. 3 the spouse and their children of one person. (just to name a few out of many meanings.

What the bible says about family: 

 GEN 12:3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse Him that curseth thee: And in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.

GEN 28: 14 And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth and thou shalt spread abroud to the west, and to the east and to the north and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed.

Leviticus 25:10: And ye shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof: It shall be a jubile unto you; And ye shall return every man unto his possession, and ye shall return every man unto his family.

Deuteronomy 28:19: Cursed shall thou be when thou comest in and cursed shalt thou be when thou goest out.

There are several more verses on family. The bible also talks about a husband making his wife and his children family above his own flesh and that he should cling to his wife and basically cut the cord to his family and make them family.

Many people in my life when I first met my husband have put a judgement on me before ever getting to know who I am. I was 19 years old when they met me. I was very poor and did not come from a wealthy family far as status.  I am 38 years old now. I have grown as a woman, self educating myself, I walk the walk, talk the talk. All of us grow up and all of us have made mistakes along the way. Life brings hardships, trials and tribulations that help grow us, mold us and shape us. 

I love my husband with all of my heart, I have shared deep personal things with him as every husband and wife do or have done. If he had a career I followed, if he wanted to move I followed. I have supported him and loved him no matter what. I have forgiven him for things many marriages would break over. My love for him says to fight for him and for my family unit. 

Going through trials you are forced to either stand for what you believe in or let everything fall and I am not willing to do that. Anyone who knows me truly knows me, knows once I pick myself up out of grief or hurt knows I dig my heals in and will fight harder for what she believes in. I will sacrifice my life for what I believe in period no questions asked. 

Still after all the growth I am still judged for things of my younger years, and to be honest I am not even sure what it is I have done. I have never been given the opportunity to make it right if I did do something. Its then I realize it isn't about what I ever did, said or acted like. It was my status that wasn't perfect in their eyes, I think misconceptions they have told themselves to justify hate or judgement towards me has blinded the real truths. (And with age I realize I don't really care anymore if I am liked or not, does not matter to me anymore.) 

If I had walked in with the background of being a lawyers daughter, or such I would have been automatically accepted into the unit. Matter of fact I know I would have. 

I then realized I am rich, I am rich in my faith, in God. He created me which makes me royalty as God is the King of Kings and I am a child of God.

My husband is clinging to his wife and children and it is not until recently that He is doing this. 19 years of marriage he is doing things with out me asking or telling he is standing up and saying "my wife is important to me and I will fight for her and my children". When our unit is threatened you are threatening him as well.

I was put out there in gossip in their unit as controlling, and bossy and made him do all the things he has done, making what they call wrong choices. When the truth is, much of the judgement is not based on facts at all. It was actually the opposite. I followed him, including out of state (which now is a blessing) and I followed his job decisions. I encouraged him to move ahead, take the classes and such..but that is not seen as I am private and have never told anyone. 

I have always believed in him, and have always been proud of him no matter the status, the income etc.. 

My frustration has always been that he let people walk on him.

I find myself recently under attack. My whole family unit attacked in a deep way. God has been taking this hurt and is growing an even stronger relationship, growing a stronger man, loving, honest and caring man. Most of my marriage has been with lack of honesty and communication from his part. Hardly ever words spoken. I used to cry and beg and pray hoping one day my husband would want to talk to me, care enough about me to not lie to me. But it wasn't until recently that God broke him. He brought my husband to his knees and a man is growing out of a beast. I mean I cannot begin to explain the difference. It is very real and very moving. You can feel the Holy Spirit so powerful in him its as if his face is changing. Many years of our marriage has been hard, I prayed on my knees for him, when everything was falling apart I found myself carrying the burdens and much hurt. Many tears, many many tears. Most people around me do not know things I have faced and the struggles. I am not saying I have been the perfect wife. But I have always honored my husband.

HONOR:  Honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions. Also: High respect, as for worth, merit, or rank. 

(fighting for my marriage and how I feel towards the one my husband betrayed our marriage with)

One become like a grizzly when she is faced with something that hurts or threatens to destroy her family. I did not go through all the love, pain and joy of 19 years with my husband to let anyone or anything take him or hurt our unit. When one comes to enter in and do such a thing I see it as a knife to my kids throats and to our marriage, our unit. If my kids/husband get hurt I as any parent/wife that hurts their kids/husband will be hunted  down to the ends of the earth, I will then only see an eye for an eyes type vision and will do anything to protect my own. 

Marriage is important to God as family is and messing with a marriage is a woe from God himself. Marriage is a unity God created that should not be broken. 

I have forgiven my husband for many hurts I have silently carried. And it is worth it to me. We have way to much to fight for. He is worth it!

I will not be cornered I will fight like a momma bear.

My husbands father told me once. "You know its love when you cannot think about life with out them in it" and this is very true. Life with out my family simply isn't worth living.

Just talking....