2009 is almost gone 2010 begining

This past year has been interesting to say the least! Good times and bad times all wrapped up with a bow.


Touching the world, one person at a time through Heavenly angels in need. Using my own skills to reach out and touch a family, child or infant in trauma. That has been such an honor!

Cannot forget my family time! I have the best family ever!!!My husband and my kids are my pride and joy. The apple of my eye! The reason I live!!!

Then all the petskeeping us extra busy

I am so thankful for many things and appreciate so many people, I do not have a list big enough. I do hope everyone a wonderful new year and a safe one. I pray only the best from our family to yours!!!

Whats going on since my last post

I have not posted in forever on this blog. My facebook friends know much of this but the blog users do not or may not. Ashlee my niece had baby Madi. Those who follow know of the maternity picture session I did earlier in the year. Well Madi was born and was healed!! Madi however had her hydrocephalus come back but in it was a miracle. She ended up having brain surgery to put in the tubes and stint (I believe its called) and she is doing so good, the stint and things will be removed when she is 18 years old. I got to give her a bath on Christmas day and she just looked up at me and was so peaceful in the nice warm water. Bathing a miracle baby was a highlight in my life.
Christmas went fairly well. We spent time mainly at my nieces. Though on Christmas day we lost a good companion. Sparky was good, faithful friend to our family and we will miss him allot.


I did one family session for Christmas. It turned out pretty good. And have more to do in January. Been extra busy in HAIN working on tax receipts.

In church we have been going through the "experiencing God" course. We sang in church for a Christmas program. (choir) it was fun and I hope to do more of this.

On the knitting front I only did one project for Christmas. I knitted a hat for a friend of my oldest child.
Hope all of you who read had a wonderful Christmas

taking pics and having fun

This is my niece Ashlee and me being silly

Its been awhile since I have posted in this blog..busy, busy, busy. Been busy going to church, enjoying family and learning new things in photography.

This is the sunrise I got to see this morning. Soon after I took this, it was gone. So pretty. It almost looked like a fire behind the tree's it was so bright!

Homeless Man

While riding on the bus to the women of faith the next morning's conference day I looked out the window and garbage in a ditch caught my eye, but when I looked a little harder and see a homeless soul laying there in a fetal position. My heart stopped. Not because I couldn't deal with seeing homeless person. This particular homeless man looked just like my oldest son. I felt as if time stopped just for me to notice him and thoughts poured in my heart and soul. Seemed like no one cared. Why did know one want to stop, help, and most turned and looked away. What if that were their child? Would they look away? Where was the compassion for him. What if that were Jesus in human form? I was hit so hard and got out of the van when we got to our destination and I couldn't breath, I started to cry so hard it felt personal. My chest was hurting my throat was burning, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. God showed me just for a glimpse His pain He has for His people. We are all hurting and need Him. This homeless man will always have my prayers for his life. I am not all sure what God is showing me though this, but I am open to hear from Him on what He wants me to do in His name.

My Fathers Hands

While in bible study we were talking and I mentioned something about raising hands in church. One of the members (a friend) said she prayed about it and 4 am in the morning God gave her this.

My Fathers Hands
His hands on my head guiding me through dangerous obstacles even crowds that could harm or separate me from Him.
My bruised and scraped hands from a fall, I raise to Him, He sees and teaches me as He heals and sends me on His way again.
Feel of His strong hand over mine that is secure and safe and will never lead me into danger, not let me stray there.
His hand at work with mine, showing me how, training me, then sending me always ready to catch me when I fall or steady me when I am uncertain.
His hands mold my day when I ask. His hands mold all my mistakes always to good for me and His plans for others.
His hands can find beauty in the worst of things. When I can't seem to find His hands, I must trust His heart. For His heart has always been in His hands, His Word is His pulse that slows from them.
I want to have my Father's hands, a true builder whose projects are designed and built in perfection. And i see His work here on earth, always begins with His hands folded in prayer.
In His hands are discipline for His children, but woe to His enemies, they are punished without end
His hands are patient and everlasting comfort to the weak, powerfully protective toward the fragile, but will crush the proud like a vice.
The One whose hands are all of these; this One is perfect in all His deeds. Others may question, many may sneer, but I hunger to have My Savior, Lord and Father's hands dear, for then I know I am loved with an everlasting love and held in His everlasting arms, from now to everlasting I am secure.
So when I worship I lift my hands at times to show them clean ready to "sup" with Him. Sometimes bloody and bruised from battles or falls but I want Him to see them, my heart enthralled, to exalt My Abba, My Savior, My God, My Joy, My Life, My Breath of all.
Through my hands He sees my heart, He knows where I've been and what I've done. Yet as I raise them, every time He says to me, "Come!"
He'll mend the bruises and soften the calluses...He'll wash my hands in His Precious Blood. Through them He'll reach into my heart and take out the black thorns of bitterness and replace them with pearls of His wisdom and His faceted light like diamonds He bestows and once more it seems I feel Him as never before.
Many do not understand, for that reason they've never raised their hands. But with eyes closed I shall raise mine and enjoy our fellowship one more time, for unashamed I cannot truly live without My Father's hands.
I want Him to see mine and the work they've done, blow away the chaff and rejoice with me in the grain. To send me back into the harvests, a worker approved for Him. Yes, my heart, let us be a worker approved. May it be seen by Him in my hands.

Thank you for writing this dear friend. It was very powerful to me and well said.

Forgiven

You know much of my life I know I have blamed myself for many things. I do not see myself as a child of God like some do. I see myself like this woman weeping for God's mercy, forgiveness and grace. I feel even though I know God died for my sins, I feel so unworthy of His forgiveness. I have hurt many with my fits of anger and my mouth has been my worst enemy. I have been on my knee's begging for forgiveness many a times. No one could put more judging on me as I have done to myself. Have you ever came to a time you fell on your face and weaped so much you couldn't even speak? I have been there, due many times because of my own hurts, by my own cause. God simply puts it on my heart "child I love you, YOU are forgiven". Jesus died on the cross for me. He paid my fine. I am not saying I purposefully go out knowing God is forgiving so go take advantage, not at all. It's that I now have even more responsibility to see that God did forgive us, being like Christ is learning to forgive not only others but myself.
Last couple days have been a real struggle, hurt has been so deep I woke up from my dead sleep this morning crying so hard I couldn't talk to tell why I was even crying. As much as I have tried to reach out, I realized many times I reach out allowing myself to be abused by those who chose not to forgive. I know this speaks for most people. I tend to be a carpet and allow others to walk on me. Its not a boyfriend, an abusive husband. Its the very people who should be even more forgiving but who end up being even more unforgiving. I am a different person then who I once was. I have grown up. There are times my mistakes are brought up over and over like puke in my face. And I am a person who takes things personal. I absorb it like a sponge to my soul. I always look at me first, meaning if someone is hurt, "how did I do it, or what did I do wrong to cause it" I many times look at self reflection first. But yesterday and today reality happened. There are some people who will never and have never forgive. I throw myself if their abuse and allow them to degrade me, hurt me, bring all the puke up. And after a good long cry this morning and some talking with my closest support team I realized GOD HAS FORGIVEN ME! Satan is a LIAR! I will not put myself at the mercy of their abuse anymore! I love the Lord with all of my soul. I am no saint by any means what so ever. But I do know God knows me, my true heart, my soul, my inner thoughts. God knows me and they apparently do not. And you know what, I do not care if they do anymore. I will pick myself up, brush myself off and walk with my head up, but not in pride but in humility seeking God in all things, in all of what I do, and in forgiveness. God is merciful! I do not deserve the abuse, I am a child of the most high God. I will keep seeking God's face, with or with out their opinion. AMEN AND AMEN

God's Glory

Here are a few pictures of the sunrise I took this morning while getting the kids ready for school. It was gorgeous in person. Its just a reminder of the glory of God. He created this just for us. Painting the skies so we can be reminded of His love for us.

Powerful message-click here to watch video

This video is exactly how we as Christians should be and feel. Be bold.

What have I been up too?

Well I took maternity pictures for my niece Ashlee. James and Ashlee are pregnant with a baby girl named Madeline (Maddie). Maddie has allot of struggles in the womb and will be born needing brain surgery. She will be whisked off right away. Maddie also suffered a stroke in womb and the doctors will not know the severity of that stroke until after Maddie is born. Maddie will be surrounded with love and she will be spoiled.

What else
I have several of these plants growing in my garden and had to share how interesting the leaves are. I found out they are a type of potato plant. Yup the ones we eat. We planted several types of potato's this year but in the past only planted white ones so the plant looks totally different. Cool huh?

And this is Opie, he is the baby goat that lost his momma.

Opie is doing a little better. He is learning to get along with the other goats. He still thinks of me as his other momma so he runs up to me and cries. But he is better then he was before. He was crying so hard his voice would run out. Opie boy is a sweetheart!!

Good bye Goats

Its been a hard week on our farm. We lost 2 goats and the top picture is Larry he is not doing so good. They had got in our feed part of the barn and gorged themselves. Brian burried 2 today and hopefully a miracle will happen and Larry will be ok. I know its silly to be so attached to animals I am sure to some, but not me I cried. I was very attached to Rona the one with her baby in the picture. She and I grew a bond. I can't hardly post this with out choking up.
Opie the baby goat is now old enough thank the Lord to eat on his own and I also bottle raised him. But he tried to jump in the hole with his momma. Brian said. He still cries. We have 4 goats left or at least healthy ones. Just sick by this.

Family Time-good times with dad

We took a day just to have fun together and work together having fun. We blew up balloons and we are paper macheing them. We had a fun time. Clean up is fun since its a glue it dries quick! They are hanging on our back porch drying now. Some will be filled with candy and I may decorate mine to hang in a room. Who knows...I recommend it. But have the clean up stuff ready for when your done. Anyone can do it with simple flower and water and something to use as a mold shape :) You can make maraca's and more.

I got followers

My ducks are so neat. They follow me wherever I go. This weekend one of our mallards layed an egg. Neat color. Should have taken a picture of it. One of the dogs trampled over it and put it in their mouth so we took it. Darn :( Ducks are a wonderful animal to have. We love ours.

Harvesting Animals

Sat we harvested (killed) a few turkeys and roosters. Freezer has food so we are thankful for the harvest! We had 1 25 pd turkey, 1 20 pd turkey and 2 15 pd turkeys. We also butchered 2 roosters. It was work but rewarding. Probably gross to a some people but its better to be farm raised then the ones you buy in the store. Ours have never had hormones like store ones. Taking the life of something is not easy but its something we must do to eat. So you do it. The animal feeds us. We know it sacrificed its life to feed us and appreciate and thank God for it.

Gardening

Tomatoes growing fast. Flowers everywhere on them. Below is a tomato growing out of the flower. In process one would say.

When we tilled our garden from last year we were going to just plant potatoes in this part of the yard. Well apparently last years pumpkin that did not really take off, replanted itself and now is HUGE! It has flowers growing off of it everywhere. And to top it off last year we DID NOT plant tomato plants in this garden, but apparently someone did before prior to us buying the house. Around 7 tomato plants replanted themselves and now is growing with flowers all around this pumpkin plant. What a treat! I have no idea what kind of tomatoes we will be getting but YUM!

Gardening is allot of work. Our family sadly doesn't keep up with Gardening as we should. We tend to be lazy. What can we say! The tool above is an old manual tiller. This helps go through the rows much quicker! This year we pretty much lost much of our crops. Weeds are bad around here. And we have farm animals who love to be in the middle of it all
Bless their pee picken hearts as my mom would say. :) Well we also have the ducks helping us too and probably a few deer.

Family wedding

I went to a wedding and had a blast. It was so wonderful to see such a close knit family. Seeing daughter and father do the last dance together made the inside of me burn with grief wishing my own father had been there. Why didn't I get a last dance. But it also made be realize that my own daughter God willing will get her's with her daddy. This means so much to me.

The wedding was stunning. On a beach setting

It was so awesome to watch the children play in the sand. The weather was perfect. I am just honored to have spent the day with such wonderful people!

God's Beauty

There is nothing greater then thinking about God's beauty. God created in detail every living thing, the planets, the earth, stars, molecules, atoms, gravity, dirt, the clouds, water, air, light and darkness, beauty and countless other things. Why? For His glory and for US. People ask does God love me? Go look at what God created for us and ask yourself again. The answer becomes obvious. My challenge is to open myself up to His love, even more so then any other time. God loves us. Do you love Him?

Reunion

My daughter and me playing
and below is my sister Lori and I goofing off!!

The reunion was refreshing and really fun! My uncles were amazing. Thats all I can say. They all opened up like when I was a kid and remembered them being like. Family came I never thought would show up at an event like this. It was really a wonderful thing. I feel there may be some hope to come out of all of this. I am so excited that our family decided to start doing these reunions!

For those face book family members..I have these in the reunion photo album folder.

Family Reunion

Today is the first day of our family reunion for my mom's side of the family. Above are 2 pictures of my grandparents Walter and Pauline Gay. I am excited and will be taking pictures of course. We hope there is a good turn out. Hopefully families can put away their differences for a week-end such as this, that is important. Its time to move on..lets meet relatives and see our heritage..its our roots

Letter from my dad

Just go a letter from my dad. He sent me an old recipe book for "Guardian Service" food dishes. Has to be from the 50's. Really neat! I will hopefully remember to take pictures of it and post it here :)
He sounded like his old self. The part I miss about him. Not much else. Maybe, just maybe I have a feeling he wants to visit Oregon. Though I have a feeling it will be more focused on visiting family elsewhere more then me teehee..but that is ok I know he misses me..he did write Love dad and that means allow to me.

Prayers for Children...

Not to long ago our church had vacation bible school. It was really fun. As posted before I got the opportunity to take the pictures for the upcoming slide show for the last day of the event. There are so many blessings that are rearing itself since then. During the event one little girl looked at me and said "okay enough pictures now" I went to explain that I was taking pictures because she was going to be seen on a big TV screen (you know the ones in churches). She was like na ha. I said yes you will. She put out her hand so CUTE and said I bet I won't, and I put out my hand to shake it and when she had her picture on that screen she was so exited! (she was maybe Kindergarten age)
Last night in church was a special prayer service. The pastor tearfully talk about the children who attended and how around 17 of them do not have a place to go to, to learn about God and a few of the children are in homes that are not right (neglect/abuse) and how right after the event 3 (I believe) brothers/sisters were taken out of their home. The mother is a drug addict. He asked us to pray for not only those particular children but all the children who attended. He showed the slide show of pictures and asked each of us to let their eyes and faces burn in our souls and remember to pray for them. The little girl he(pastor) pointed out on the slide show was that of the little girl who was taken from her home, and the Lord gave me a heart for that hand shake in the event. Her beautiful image speared through me like a sword to my soul.

So as the slide show played each face came up my lip started to tremble, thinking about their souls. And after the slide show was over we were asked to get on our knee's for a special prayer for these children. I did and my body started to tremble..memories of childhood of watching my mom get almost beat to death came to me. God was allowing me to remember the this time in my life where I was so scared. Then He brought back that special moment when it was time to leave Oregon to get away from my step dad who beat my mom. My teacher Mrs. Wallas sat me in front of her and handed me a bag to carry my things and told me that I was special and she would miss me. She had so much concern on her face but kept her smile for me not to worry. We moved 2000 miles away with nothing but clothes on our backs. My mom with a beaten face and 4 kids who were scared to death.
When I moved back the 2nd time to Oregon after this I was already married and with kids of my own. I made sure to find Mrs. Wallas to thank her. She looked at me and started to cry . I hugged her, I let her know everything was alright and how the abuse stopped with me. She said Mary my husband is a preacher and all of those years our church prayed for your family. All this memory flooded back to me while on my knee's. I couldn't speak while leaving because when the Lord speaks to us, sometimes we are just silent. I am praying for God to show me how He wants HAIN to be apart of helping these children and praying for them as prayers once were prayed for me...Just had to get this off my chest.

4th of July

I have lots of beautiful firework pictures but don't want to post all 50 of them lolol they were so pretty what can I say :)

This is my beautiful daughter Julionna

There was a plane that dropped 4 sky divers that landed in a field close by. It was pretty cool

And this has nothing to do with the 4th except it was on a tree close by where we were sitting. A dragon fly.

4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. It is the celebration of our independence here in America. Thank you Soldiers and their families who keep us safe here at home.
Thank you Past, present and future soldiers who keep us free, independent and safe here at home!

Clay Pigeon Shooting

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Few shooting pics. We had fun! All the kids but Paul tried the shotgun. Fun times..